Fellow toy soldier:

I am currently working on the development of poetic weapons for use in the possible upcoming war against eToys Inc.

Poetic weapons are linguistic structures designed to implant an idea into the mind of the reader or listener. For maximum effectiveness, the poetic weapon sets up resonances in the mind of the audience through the use of rhythm, rhyme, meter, alliteration and wit. The idea is to use these basic instruments to set up images in the mind of the reader or listener. If properly designed, the poetic weapon should introduce the idea with minimum resistance from negative resistant agents (cultural prejudices and the like). Alternatively, by telling a powerful STORY, you can get your point across pretty effectively. The key is not to be too earnest. Earnestness sets off warning signs, and makes the weapon ineffective.

Poetic weapons are highly effective when used on the creative, the impressionable, and the romantic. They present chilling or thrilling ideas. The major defect in the poetic weapon is that they lose their effectiveness against more logical minds. (One could argue that a logical mind wouldn't have engaged in this stupid lawsuit in the first place).